How do you get a cat out of a tree? Throw a jar of foreskin at it.

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An oriental man starts a new job. He is told to go to the Supply cupboard and bring back some stationery.He is gone far too long so his boss sends another man to see what is going on. The oriental man had a fatal stroke in the supply cupboard and was unfortunately dead.

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If your waiting in a restaurant for a waiter, doesn't that make you a waiter? O.o

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Why couldn't the old man see? Because he was stabbed in the eye.

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Q: Why was the man upset? A: He was kidnapped. Two cruel men tied him to a chair in an unknown location. This man was mistaken for someone who was planning to steal a big drug shipment. They beat him unmerciful, shocked him, and hit him in the head with a hammer, and threw him out in the street, with the belief of his death occurring. A driver stopped to help the man into the nearby hospital. The man was questioned about the physical appearance and whereabouts of these criminals. He remembered nothing, and sadly, they got away with this horrible crime.

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Q:Whats funnier than 24? A: 25.

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Whats the difference between a Preius and a vagina? One's the possibly the greatest invention of all time and possibly the only hope for the future of man kind. The others a Preius.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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An Asian man, a black man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They all buy the same drink, are charged the same price and say " We are all equal! " They then continue on with their days normaly.

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Bob: You need to push harder? Tom: Oh wow what a coincidence, that is what my wife said last night. They laugh about the irony of the situation and then return to the task at hand

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how many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? none their all dead.

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Your mom is so fat that she should watch her weight and maintain a healthy diet.

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If you have 12 apples and 7 oranges in one hand, and 9 apples and 10 oranges in one hand, what do you have? Very large hands.

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Hey

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What do you call a man covered in bees? Nothing, you'll startle the bees!

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Whats worse than ten dead babies in one tree? I dont know, but that is quite a graphic sight i have in my mind right now.

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What color was the duck? It had one foot.

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Q: What did the magician do to cure his cold?? A: Took medicine!

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What's black can run really fast and jump really high? A panther

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his toadstool.

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what did the cheese say to the other cheese nothing cheese can't talk

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Anti-joke.com

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You want to know how I got these scars? A horrible knife throwing accident.

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Knock knock. Man: Who's there? Hooker: The hooker you called for. Man: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. Wife: Honey, who is it? Man: The hooker I called for, but you haven't left yet. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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