A horse walks into a bar. The Bartender says "Why the long face?" The Bartender is then put into a lunatic asylum for hallucinating and trying to communicate with said hallucinations.

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Obama getting elected in 2012.

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QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

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Scenario: A man is being mugged in an alley Mugger: Give me your wallet! I have a gun! Victim: You don't have the balls. Mugger: Oh yeah! I have 3 balls! Victim: Well I have 2, you should probably get that checked.

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what do you call a girl with no arms and legs whatever her name is

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what did the kid with poleo get for christmas. whatever he has on his christmas list because his parents feel bad for passing down the genetic information(DNA) that gave him poleo.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a bed? A: The victim of a serious car accident in a hospital bed.

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What did the chemist say when his BBQ ran out of charcoal? Nothing interesting.

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roses are red violets are blue i forgot what i was gonna say my dad is an engineer

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A giraffe walks into a bar.... just kidding, a giraffe wouldnt fit in a bar.

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What do a gas and a liquid have in common? Nothing

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Do you think the death man heard the one about, oh wait I bet he didn't

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What do you have if you have 100 rabbits in a row and 99 step back? That would be a very unlikely thing to happen, unless a mildly scary predator was released in front of them, or they weren't all stepping back at the same time.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The POLICE, now open the god damn door!

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How did the black man get into college? A mop.

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Why did the baby cry? His dad was holding him upside down over a fire.

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Tyler is a downer and is always negative to everybody

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Who are you texting? YOUR MOTHER.

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John: Spell IT Mike: Q-U-A-D-R-A-M-E-C-H-A-N-I-C-S

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why did the lights turn off? Because I turned them off.

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Roses are red Here is something new Violets are violet NOT FUCKING BLUE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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