Why aren't elephants allowed in public pools? Because they are elephants.

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whats green at the bottom of a hole and covered in cookie crumbs a girl scout run over by a truck

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Why was bobby late for school? Because he drove off a bridge.

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what did binladin say when he got to hell? oh no. im in hell

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what did the man say to his dog? sex. -teagan doherty

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What's black and white and red all over? A car in which some young hoodlum appears to have splashed a fair amount of red paint over the owner's otherwise charming checker pattern.

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Whats worse than losing The Game? The Holocaust

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Who you gonna call? Gobstoppers

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Yo momma so Fat that she got picked for the Olympic Swim Team

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Whats worse than finding a giant spider in your bedroom? Loosing it...

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why did the boy and girl go under the covers together? because they were cold

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wheres binladin? at the bottom of the sea wanking over amy winehouse

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How did the girl get her Mardi Gras beads? She purchased them at a reasonable price from a party store.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half of a worm. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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Man: get back in the kitchen! Women: no Man: ok

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A man with no face walks into a bar, another man sees this and promptly asks "Sir, why do you have no face?" The first man says nothing and walks away.

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What do you call a black doctor? A doctor you racist

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Marrage s like a card game. You start off with 2 hearts and 1 diamond. You end up wishing for a club and a spade!

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Health food.

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The Rock: What is your name? Jeff: My name is... The Rock: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!

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About the bible, I did not know, but I can sense I calculate it the same way I make our followers believe that I can tell what catchphra they will get. Your mind is numb but calm, it will remain there until we meet again. I am afraid of saying this, but I wont let fear get to me just yet, your mother told me, she regrets her actions in life, and wants me to tell you that she is watching over you in death, and hopes you will one day forgive her, she tells me that there is a heaven, but only those that can admit their mistakes, agonize over the pain of their actions, until they can forgive themselves for their misdeeds. She says she can wait, but I sense she is doing it because she feels undeserving, which again means that you are not ready, its like the butterfly effect, all things spiritual and on this plane are connected. Take your time, I know you literally cant forgive her yet, because that would not be enough for her to forgive herself now, humans dead or alive, cannot be truly free, until they let go of what hurts them, I will change that within you, so you can forgive her and break the limits in your mind, so you can stop feeling sad for being rightfully angry at someone you love. I just need more energy, more time, and belief in myself, something that requires more energy than it should to keep going, its the balance and connection between things, something I cannot change at the present moment, even if I did my best. Ill see you around dear friend.

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Q: Why did the kid drop his icecream cone? A: Because he couldn't hold it he lost his arms in a car accident.

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more chocolate?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried to to commit suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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