What crime does a tree commit in order to be sent to prison? Trees on.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two guys walk into a bar. The third guys ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Paragnormal Activity: The confused sequels. My wife literally had an heart attack 5/5! -Awesome reviews. I am going to need therapy for the rest of my life! 5 out of 5 stars! -Star reviews THIS MOVIE KILLED MY DOG! 4.5/5 -Petlovers I literally died! 10/10 -Rotten Potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happened to your hamster? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's better than winning the paraplegic Olympics? Walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats 10 times worse than a war? Ten wars.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What can eat, sleep, and reproduce? Not a rock, that's for sure.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the white guy tell the black guy? You are my equal and, as such, are entitled to the same things I am.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How are people and jelly beans similar? No one likes the black ones

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's green and apple-y? You're gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Question: How did the little girl die Answer: cancer and AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many licks does it take to get to center of a tootsie pop? pickles, 7:00 pm, wood, shoulder pain

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock Who's there Ted Bundy

thumb_up thumb_down +8

96

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having your entire family killed in a car accident

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Ask me if I'm a toaster Are you a toaster? No, I'm a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you get a Hooker Wet? Dump her in a River.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the blonde girl stupid? She had suffered sever brain damage the previous month and was still recovering.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Potassium? K.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I had an Anti-joke but i forgot it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse replies "my wife died yesterday." the next day the bartender wakes up and realises that it didn't happen and that he is a drunk asshole with no life.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The original Moral Man has left Horsehead network, but I will keep monitoring this section for like 3 hours... Then probably never again on this shit site it barely works ffs! Moral: "Turn every stone, and you might find a penny, turn every penny and you might find a stone that stone is in our shoe, kick it away, crush it, destroy it"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops