So three nazis walk into a B.A.R

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If you were a cactus, why?

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms in it, what's worse than that? The holocaust, whats worse than that? Biting into an apple and finding 3 worms in it

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What happened when the mailman shot the plumber? The plumber died.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? (No answer)

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Ask me if i am a tree? "Are you a tree" No.

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

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1-1 was a race horse, 1-2 was one too, 1-1 won one once and 1-2 won one too

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3 men walk into a bank. They rob the bank and kil 13 hostages.

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What did the frog order at McDonalds? Nothing, it's a frog.

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Whats long, hard, and filled with seaman... a mans penis

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? because he got ran over by a bus! (not a original, just funny)

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whats white and sticky glue

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What time do you go to the dentist? Depends on the appointment.

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

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raisin boogers

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What did the guy and girl do at the wedding? Nothing, The guy is gay

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What do you call a puppy with one eye, one ear, and one leg? An ugly mother f*cker.

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whats the difference between a black man and a terd ? one is a black man the other is a terd

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Why are you so stupid? Becuse I spelled because wrong

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Your momma is so fat that when she fell over, she couldn't get back up without help, and she probably got several bruises.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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