Three guys went barhopping. One slipped and broke his dick.

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Wishing to teach his donkey not to eat, a pedant did not offer him any food. When the donkey died of hunger, he said: ‘I’ve had a great loss. Just when he had learned not to eat, he died.

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what do jews like the most? money, because they're all greedy fat nosed cunts

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Chuck norris doesnt mow his lawn, He calls someone to do it for him and then he pays them a great deal of money considering he has a large lawn.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? (No answer)

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

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What happened when the mailman shot the plumber? The plumber died.

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If you were a cactus, why?

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So three nazis walk into a B.A.R

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Why was the dinosaur laughing so hard? He heard a very humorous joke

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms in it, what's worse than that? The holocaust, whats worse than that? Biting into an apple and finding 3 worms in it

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Why was the bus driver sad? The kid with the icecream had c4 strapped to his chest.

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Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play including his 6 year old sister who has down syndrome.

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Ask me if i am a tree? "Are you a tree" No.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? The president. -Harrison

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Dylan F fell off a bridge Landed in some water and was ok 2 days later he got bit by a shark He is now in a coma

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A dozen burly firefighters ready to stick it in your pooper

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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How do you know what time it is in the dark? Turn on the light and look at the clock.

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PENIS

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whats white and pointless? chalk.

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What do you call a black man with pearl white teeth ? A man with good dental hygiene.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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