Why did the mexican cross the road? His drugs were on the other side.

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Man 1: What's the difference between an elephant and a mailbox? Man 2: I don't know. Man 1: You'd make a terrible postman

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Why did the...uhh.... Lamp.

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a man in a black van pulls up to a kids house and offers him icecream the kid points out that since it is summer and black absorbs heat, that the icecream will have melted

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A doctor walks into a bar, he stumbles backwards as he is taking his coat off, and the barman chuckles.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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If Michael Jackson were alive today, what would he be doing? Scratching at the top of his coffin.

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you and your family will die tonight

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What do you do when your phone goes off in class? Stay behind after class whilst the teacher takes off his pants and tells you do bend over a desk. This is your punishment.

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Have you ever seen that really famous blind man's house? Neither has he.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This is a poem The End

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Where's my tractor?

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roses are red violets are blue get to close to me ill have to give aids to you!

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How do you kill a bolonde? You have her/him do an algebra problem.

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xavier stop

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller watch TV? Because at 19 months she contracted what is believed to be scarlet fever which caused an acute congestion of the stomach and brain which caused her to loose sight and hearing.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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Whats 9 + 10? 19.

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Three men are travelling in a hot-air balloon, but it starts to go down over an uninhabitable desert. One of the men must sacrifice himself to save the other two by jumping overboard to reduce the weight in the balloon. Nobody is brave enough to volunteer, and they all die painful deaths.

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What do silly people in a monastery say? stop munkying around.

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Knock Knock Who's There 42

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Steve Mullings isn't on drugs

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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