What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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Jimmy and Ted are racing each other at the end ov the street. Jimmy is taller and thinner but Ted has more endurance. Who wins the race? A: the drunk driver

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell off a cliff? That never happened. I just checked Wikipedia.

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How do you kill a woman? Let her drive

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Q: What is red and green and goes 100/mph? A: A frog in a blender

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there is 500 dicks on the wall how many will choke on? None?? so ur a professional!!!! lol

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Yo Mama!

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Women's rights

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Lil Wayne

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Fine, just remember that I want to help you, but you cannot ask me for help, and then throw a shitstorm of accusations at me, I have never worked for the feds and never will, I know nothing about their code of operations nor... Anything really. Let me give you an advice, I know that at least two people you trusted deeply betrayed you, but if you are not going to trust anyone again, then leave point zero while you still can do so alive. And no babe, this is not a threat, its advice.

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Why did YUR MOM cross the road? To go slap her annoying-ass twelve year old for using "your mom" as an insult.

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Q:Why didn't Mr. Fuzzy have to cut his hair anymore? A: Because he was diagnosed with cancer

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Why did little Billy fall of his bike? anwser: because a refridgator hit him.

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Q: whats worse that sucking at piano A: the world blowing up

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What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

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What's sad about an elderly couple who has had a long, fruitful marriage? Nothing.

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why was the boy sad? because.

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If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5 then all together you have $10. It was announced that the obverse portrait of Alexander Hamiliton would be replaced by the portrait of an undecided woman, starting in the year 2020. If you wait long enough, you can exchange the $10 for the new $10 bill.

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What's the difference between a cow and a cow? Nothing, they are both the same.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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I am iron man 24 flavors in my van i am the icecream man i have met jackie chan

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Knock Knock! FUUCKKKK OFFFFFFFF

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Q: What's worse than falling off a mountain A: Falling off a mountain into a pile of spikes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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