What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having your entire family killed in a car accident

If the blue man lives in the blue house, the red man lives in the red house and the green man lives in the green house, where does the orange man live? In the orange house.

What's hard, long and full of seamen? an erect penis.

Whats the worst part of your school burning down? A: The burnt pizza.

The original Moral Man has left Horsehead network, but I will keep monitoring this section for like 3 hours... Then probably never again on this shit site it barely works ffs! Moral: "Turn every stone, and you might find a penny, turn every penny and you might find a stone that stone is in our shoe, kick it away, crush it, destroy it"

a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse replies "my wife died yesterday." the next day the bartender wakes up and realises that it didn't happen and that he is a drunk asshole with no life.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

What did the homicidal maniac say to his 13th victim? Nothing, she was dead at the time.

whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

What did batman do before getting into his batmobile? - Look for the keys.

How long is a china man?

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

What do you call a blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba? A blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba!

What do I do with all the wheelchairs after I boil all the vegetables?

Why are some people so awesome? Because their black.

Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

What did the disabled boy get on Christmas morning? Cancer.

What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

Did you hear the one about the chicken crossing the road? It wanted to go to the other side.

if girls witth big boobs work at hooters where does the girl with one leg work.... walmart

A Priest, Rabbi, and a Minister walk into a bar... i forgot the rest of the joke, but your mothers a whore!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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