What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

thumb_up thumb_down +11

America

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The Olympics

thumb_up thumb_down -35

When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -109

A man walks into a barn the n was not visible

thumb_up thumb_down +78

how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

thumb_up thumb_down +50

call of duty world at war

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops