Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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How are you this morning?

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

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A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

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What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

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What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

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Why would someone smile at a tumble weed? I don't know, it's an inanimate object.And is ugly Just like the couch in the basement in That 70's Show.

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops