What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

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pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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sexual intercourse.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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The Olympics

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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