why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

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Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

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America

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

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Whats worse than breaking your pencil? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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boobs

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Q:Why did Billy drop his ice cream? A:He was hit by a truck. Q:Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was hit by Billy. Q:Why did the clown's friend fall off the swing? A:He had no arms. Q:Why did the chicken cross the road? A:To get to Billy's ice cream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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