What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

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Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

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how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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Yes.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

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America

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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The Olympics

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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