Advice from a pro: Don't be a faggot

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What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

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If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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The Olympics

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Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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A man walks into a McDonald's and proceeds to buy a burger, unfortunately a man was robbing the fast food restaurant, what did the man do. Buy a burger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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