Q:Why did Billy drop his ice cream? A:He was hit by a truck. Q:Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was hit by Billy. Q:Why did the clown's friend fall off the swing? A:He had no arms. Q:Why did the chicken cross the road? A:To get to Billy's ice cream.

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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So you there Red?

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

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What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops