What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

call of duty world at war

What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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