I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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(SAY KATCHUP AND LICKER AFTER EVERY SENTENCE) FOR BREAKFEAST I HAD (KATCHUP AND LICKER) FOR LUNCH I HAD I SEE MY GIRL FRIEND AT THE MALL SO I (KATCH UP AND LICK HER

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How do you disprove feminism? This is how I disprove feminism. I go up to a feminist and ask her, 'If there are penises, then why are there women?' I have never met a feminist who can say anything in response to my logic.

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what do you call a black man driving a police car? a cop

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What does 1 black person on the moon mean? A problem. What do 2 black people on the moon mean? A problem. What does every black person on the world on the moon mean? It's still a problem.

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How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

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Why did the man walk into the bar? To purchase alcoholic beverages ready for consumption.

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What did Helen Keller say after the Iron Maiden show? Nothing, she is a mute.

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What srtarts with "P" and ends in "orn"? Popcorn

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A woman catches her husband cheating on her she divorces him in a rather lengthy sequence of meetings in court

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? There's twenty of them

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What did Katniss say to her sister? hi

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Q:Why did the man have a lot of Hoes? A: He was an experienced Agriculturalist.

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What's the difference between a cow and a cow? Nothing, they are both the same.

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What happened to the clown that touched the kid? The clown got honked up

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how do u get to your favorite chinese restaurant? wok.

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Nice story but I wish it would have had a good point like... A moral? Moral: Need a light?

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There are two lawyers about to enter a court room. They look at each other shake their hands and then the defending lawyer smiles and says "I'm Jewish your f*cked"

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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What's red, green, and goes about 200 mph A fire hidrent I lied about the green and the 200 mph

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Why did the nerd cross the road?? BAZINGA!!!! xD

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what do u get when you cross a monkey, a sock and wheels? A: a sock monkey. I was kidding about the wheels

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being held for random.

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a retard walks into a bar a bruise appeared on his head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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