Whats worse than finding a giant spider in your bedroom? Loosing it...

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Who?

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the 6 year old girl go to therapy? Because her step dad raped her.

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple All of the antijokes about it

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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Did you hear the joke about the Israeli guy with the cruise missile down his pants? Me neither. I hope it's a good joke.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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why was the black kid so good at basketball because he practiced a lot

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what do you give a little girl with no legs and no arms for christmas...................cancer

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your social life.

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Why did the guy die? He had a fatal heart attack.

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? You poke-er--face....pokerface.

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yo mamas so fat she probably has to wear a gerdle when she leaves the house.

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How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

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Why was the homeless man begging for money? Because he needed money to buy liquer for his severe alcohol addiction that was slowly destroying his liver.

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Why did the man stop having seizure? Because his condition was recognized and he was properly medicated.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Everyone in the bar is very happy for him considering he has regained the ability to walk

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What is hotter than a lightbulb. The Sun.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a fox? An eaten chicken.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Q:Whats funnier than 24? A: 25.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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