Mickey Mouse peed on a house. Just kidding. Micky Mouse isn't real.

Whats the difference between a jewish man wearing a fedora and glass of almond milk? Ones a glass of almond milk.

Knock Knock Who's there? I am I am who? I am here to see you

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

What would Hitler say if you give him a sandwich? Thankyou!

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

Whats, red, blue, green, yellow, feels like popcorn, looks like jello, tastes like hydrogen peroxide and smells like burning logs? i dont know. i was asking you

Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

FREE SEX! Now that I have your attention.............

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? You did?! Oh . . .

What did the two doctors say to each other? We are both doctors.

What did the mom say to her clinically depressed son? You're dad died

A lion walks in to a bar, and murders everyone inside. This is why animals are not aloud in bars.

You know what makes no cents? 100 cents because 100 cents make a dollar.

Knock Knock Who's There? Dave I don't know a Dave, Please leave.

Two doctors were performing open heart surgery on a 54-year old woman. The surgery was a success, and she is now living comfortably in Portland, OR. She enjoys sweet tea.

who was the alien over LA? adalia rose

There are two muffins in the oven. One says: "It's really getting hot in here!" The other one can't reply because it is already dead.

What us black and white and read all over The newspaper

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

Q: How did Mary get frostbite A: Her mother locked her in a freezer

What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

what did the n i g g e r with alzheimers say to the c h i n k? 9/11 was the funniest fake joke since the holocaust and 9/11 and the holocaust and 9/11... and... what?

What's green, covered in cookie crumbs, and lies in a ditch? A Girl Scout that was hit by a car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...