What did the woman say just before she was stabbed eleven times in the chest thus killing her? Nothing, she had been gagged.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Two olives are sitting on a table. One loses his balance and rolls off. The other calls down to it, "Oh my gosh, are you okay?" And the olive yells up, "No. I just rolled off a friggin table."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Once upon a time there was man named Bob. He liked bacon. So he ate some. And he like it. So he got some more and ate it. Then he went an played THE GAME.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I watched The Pianist last night? Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q. Why did the fat boy cross the road? A. To go on a diet

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q:Why did the retarded student get called down to the office? A:Because both his parents died in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Yo mamma so crazy She chloroformed a 4 year old and put her in her trunk and no one has ever heard of her since.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a black guy with a job? Responsible.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake. One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?" "You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why didnt jerry trip over a slug? Because jerry is an arabian and the atmosphere in arabi is to hot for a slug.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's worse than a murderer? Two murderers.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's worse than finding another worm in your apple? Another Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a person trying to rob a store with no arms? Peter Pan

thumb_up thumb_down -21

whats better than holocaust...911 cardiac?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Yo mama so fat, she should see a doctor to discuss healthier lifestyles.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Person 1:why did the person fart Person 2: wh.... Person 1:shut up I'm not interested any more! Btw person 2 got interrupted

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, it seem's that someone has been bathroom on my lawn. "Martha, I'm not cleaning this up"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How to have a cheap party in just 5 steps: 1. Buy 100 McDonald's burgers and give everyone food poisoning 2. Bring out that black serial killer's mask you've been working on. 3. Bring out that sharp knife. 4. Slit everyone's throats. 5. Dance.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Your chicken just went across the road. What does this tell you about the economy?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A married couple is arguing over the temperature in their house. The wife wants it at 62 degrees and the husband wants it at 74. What should they do? Nothing while they are arguing their daughter decides to put it at 32 and freeze them to death

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Adam: knock knock!! Eve: who's there? Adam: don't be silly, just open the f*cking door!!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why is it that all cats dislike flying saucers? The strange noises and lights probably frighten them, as they don't understand the concepts of extra-terrestrial intelligence and space travel.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops