Teacher: "Kenny, what is the biggest mammal on land?" Kenny: "A stranded whale."

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What's green and would kill you if it fell on you? A golf course

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Why did the police officer arrest the black guy? Because the guy was black and the police officer was racist.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.. unless you're color blind...

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What was the pirate movie rated? Pg-13

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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roses are red, violets are blue.

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Do you know who's gay? Homosexuals.

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-Knock Knock ~Who's there? -It's your mother ~Go away

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what do you call postman pat after he's retired? Pat.

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Knock Knock Whos There Policeman Policeman who Please open then door your fathers been in a terrible car accident

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i fell like im going to reverse john becase i ate a bikle penis jackson

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Two penguins are sitting in the bathtub, the first one says to the second one "pass the soap." The other penguin says," what do I look like a radio?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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How are people and jelly beans similar? No one likes the black ones

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You're so stupid, you had to take part in special classes in school, and despite this specific attention to your educational development, you've made no major progress.

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Why is the chicken dead? It tried to cross the road.

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What's worse than taking a bite in an apple and finding a worm in it? Taking a bite and finding half a worm.

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Q: Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? A: Oh, I'm terribly sorry sir, I’ll replace this with a fresh bowl of soup and I’ll have a word with the manager to see if we can deduct a sum from your bill for the inconvenience we have caused you

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper painted red.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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This sentence is not humorous in any fashion whatsoever.

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What do you can a Brazilian woman wearing a bikini? It depends on the case, but usually Brazilian women are named "Maria", "Ana", "Júlia" and many others kinds of names, with their root being hispanic, portguese and latin lenguages. Respectively, the names quoted have the English translation being "Mary", for Maria, "Anne", for Ana, and July, for Júlia.

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Every time you log on to a porn site, somewhere a panda cub explodes. BOYCOTT PORNOGRAPHY. SAVE THE PANDAS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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