I STUCK MY TESTICLE IN A BLENDER!!!

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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baby seal walks into a club

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A little boy came runing to his mum' mummy...can a little girl have ababy? Mom reply no...so, the boy ran out and told his frnd 'we can play naked again'.,

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A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

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What's a pirates favorite element the periodic table? Gold.

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billy has 100 candy bars he eats 78 of them what does he have now diabetes

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Why can't Helen Kellen drive? She's a woman.

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Knock... Knock... Who's there? AIDS.

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Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

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guess wat chicken butt guess why chicken thy guess who chicken poo guess how he chickened out

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How many morman minutes does it take to get to school? A lightyear

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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so i was F***in this guy the other day with my penis.....shit! i mean i was F***in this girl and i jizzed

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Do you know whats sad? Global Warming Do you know why the polar bears are dying? Aids

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? 1

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I didn't choose the thug life... I got a job.

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? Well, he's dead.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it's face.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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When is Florida not the sunshine state? At night.

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Why was the Asian guy dumped by his hot girlfriend? Well you know what they say about Asian guys.... They are too dedicated to their schoolwork.

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What did the sign say? It said slow down

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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