why was the asian women such a bad driver? she was blind and had no arms

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whats orange, green and has a treadmill attached to it? a cantaloupe, i lied about the treadmill.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Whatever his parents named him

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Is it possible to mix an answer to a question with another? No. Aids are perfect for fear training.

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A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

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There's a fine line between hyphenated words

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A man with ADD walks into a bar, what did he say? Look a squirrel!!!

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A woman fell victim to nasty car accident. Her injuries were very grave. The doctors warned her family that she had two hours to live. She died two hours later.

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Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're a faggot.

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Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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How do you get black children to stop jumping on the bed? Tell them it's not allowed and that consequences will ensue if the rules are not followed.

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I dyslexic man walks into a bra. This incident had no relation whatsoever to his condition. The bra was just in an unusual and inconvenient location, and he wasn't paying much attention to where he was going.

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what do u get when two cars collide... a bunch of mexican

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What did the man do when it was raining pineapples? He got a chainsaw and went on a killing spree against his neighbors family.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not her.

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What's worse than hell? I would say the Holocaust, but they're both the same for the Jews.

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Q.why did the woman die A.she left the refrigerator door open then left the kitchen

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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whats worse than being raped by a random stranger getting raped by your uncle

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michael: How old do I look? stranger: about 68? How old are you? michael: I cant remember I have alzheimers. michael: How old do I look?

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what did the left nut say to the right nut? The guy above us is a real dick huh?

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Q: Whats black and hangs from a tree???? A: A tire!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q: whats worse than ten babies in one trash can A: one baby in ten trash cans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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