What can make you pee? Liquid

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Health food.

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Yo mama is so so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

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Your future.

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The elephant and the mouse was gonna go swimming at the lake, but they realize the Elephant forgot his swimming trunks! Mouse: Do you really need two trunks? Elephant: Oh well I can do with this one... but its not a swimming trunk! Mouse: Huh? Moral: Huh?

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What did the man say when he saw an orange? That's not a banana.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The more you know

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A dog walks into a bar and the bartender gives him a bowl of water because it is hot outside and he doesn't want the dog to dehydrate because he could die.

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Why is the duck? Because it has two feet the same.

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Hitler

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What's black and white and red all over? A chess board; I lied about the "red all over" part.

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Ask this to your friend. "Yo man, I really need your help on this question. Can you tell me color comes after 9?" guaranteed "wtf"

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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4 gay guys walk into a bar but there is only one bar stool, where do they sit? They go to a different bar

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What's red and curly and goes 100km an hour? Palfi in a blender

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knock knock who's there ?? the police now get out !!

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Three politicians walk into a sports bar. Suddenly, everyone is watching the Stanley Cup playoffs.

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Kill her entire family.

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Roses are red the grass is green now open your legs and let me fill you with cream

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Why did the chicken loom the road? To unlock the final boss.

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What's funny about a small child with no arms, no legs? Nothing.. Nothing at all.

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A black man walks into a Ku Klux Klan meeting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops