A man with ADD walks into a bar, what did he say? Look a squirrel!!!

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Q: Whats black and hangs from a tree???? A: A tire!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q: Ask me if I read the terms of use before I submitted this joke. A: I didnt

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Person 1: Can I ask you a question? Person 2: You just did.

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run farther?

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Q: whats worse than ten babies in one trash can A: one baby in ten trash cans

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A blond and a brunette are on the moon. The brunette says to the blond "I'm glad that independent company's are taking the job of American space travel."

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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what did the left nut say to the right nut? The guy above us is a real dick huh?

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whats worse than being raped by a random stranger getting raped by your uncle

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michael: How old do I look? stranger: about 68? How old are you? michael: I cant remember I have alzheimers. michael: How old do I look?

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Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're a faggot.

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Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

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A woman fell victim to nasty car accident. Her injuries were very grave. The doctors warned her family that she had two hours to live. She died two hours later.

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How do you make a basketball team short You cut off their legs

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not her.

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What's worse than hell? I would say the Holocaust, but they're both the same for the Jews.

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Q.why did the woman die A.she left the refrigerator door open then left the kitchen

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What did the man do when it was raining pineapples? He got a chainsaw and went on a killing spree against his neighbors family.

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What is red,brown and stinks? A deer that's hit by a car

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BF:Roses r red Violets r blue a face like ur's shuld b i n the zoo but dont worry i'll be there but not in the cage but laughing at u. GF:Wanna c a magic trick? POOF ur single

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How do you stop the baby from touching the stove? Cut of its arms.

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Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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