A man took a police officers gun and threw it at a baby in a stroller. He went to jail.

What the difference between Adolf Hitler and Michael Phelps? Micheal Phelps can finish a race.

A cowboy rides into town and stays the weekend but then leaves on Wednesday, how is this possible? He was alive for the weekend and died on Sunday, his body left on Wednesday. Now get a job and be happy with your life.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was playing Pokemon Go.

Justin Bieber's mother.

holy F**k someone call an ambulance!

There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

Knock Knock. Who'se there? It's Dave. Dave who? Um, you invited me over here. Open the damn door.

Who did the man call when his house was on fire? He called his mother as the firefighters put out the fire.

Why did the nerd cross the road?? BAZINGA!!!! xD

What do you call 6 white men on a bench? The NBA

A father was angry at his daughter's boyfriend because he took her virginity. The boyfriend said he was ashamed that he never told her he has AIDS.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't reply because horses don't speak. However, he is confused and scared by the unfamiliar surroundings. Trying to escape, the horse breaks his leg. The horse must be put down.

What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

What happened when the chicken crossed the road? The Farmer immediately noticed the oncoming car and flagged it down so the driver would stop and he could grab his chicken and carry it safely back to the coop

Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

Knock Knock Who's there? Not Anne Frank

What do a woman and a female dog have in common? They were both annoying so I put them down.

Who has a big nose? YOU!!!

why didnt Joe drive the tractor today? Because Joe doesnt have any arms or legs. Why doesnt Joe have any arms or legs? A) Because Joe is a potatoe

You know what is worse than being dead...being at a Justin Bieber concert

how do you get your son or daughters attention? break down the door to their room and promptly begin beating them with a wooden baseball and then tie them up to a chair and torture them for 24 hours.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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