"The Civil War wasn't won in a day, it was won in a lifetime." -Marc Cruz

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There was a dog walking down the street with his GF. The dog can have a GF and can talk because this is an anti joke. Then the dog broke up with his GF because he was unhappy with her scent. Dogs are weird that way. Then, sobbing, he saw something through the blur of his tears. The county fair was open! Elated, the dog ran to the fair and waited n the ticket line for a long time. He waited so long, he almost exploded. Once he got to the end, he reached in his coat pocket (yeah, the dog is wearing a coat. It's cold), and found no wallet. FUUUUUUU! By the time he got back, the fair was closed for the day. The next time he came back, he had a hard time getting through the line. When he did, he raced to the ferris wheel. Halfway up, the ferris wheel stopped. CWAP! The neckst daey, thee dwawg whent two the ferries weele and went up. Yay. At the top, he saw his house! there was a chicken crossing the road. WTF? Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Phuck yeah.

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A girl accidentally clicks on an advertisement while on anti-jokes.com, the girl silently curses and quickly presses the back button.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

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Why is paper white? Cause that's how they make paper.

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Fishing rods are cool This haiku does not make sense Lumpy Space Princess

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Did you hear the one about the chicken crossing the road? It wanted to go to the other side.

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its all aodhan

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i didn't listen to a word you just said but...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHA

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Oh my God! A talking dog!

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How many illegal immigrants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Illegal immigrants don't use lights, they'd get caught. Dumbass.

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Why did Santa go to a rap concert? Because Santa was a rapper

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Chuck norris doesnt mow his lawn, He calls someone to do it for him and then he pays them a great deal of money considering he has a large lawn.

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How do you get a Hooker Wet? Dump her in a River.

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What walks on four in the morning, three at noon, and two at night? A baby with leprosy.

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What did the white guy say to the black guy? What's up?

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Why do Mexicans stink? Because they're Mexican.

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What do you do if you can't go to the Wednesday Night Market on Wednesday? You go on Thursday

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your mother

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Do you love me? No.

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What do you get when you put the head of a lion on the body of an eagle?2 dead animals and a fine for killing protected species.

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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Why did the black man cross the road? Black people don't exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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