I slipped and fell in the shower today. Good thing my dad caught me

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? EVERYWHERE

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"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

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i like my babies how i like my potatoes..... skinned

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How many times can the Frenchman cheat on his wife? I don't know.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

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Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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What happened to the deaf, dumb, and blind kid? I don't know. Niether does he.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technological age we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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Why did the Mexican cross the river? For an opportunity at a better life for himself and his loved ones.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What did the white man do when he got a black eye? He thanked the gracious african-descented donor, and with a little luck he just might see his beautiful wife and kids again

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If i open this door you can go trough it

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how do you decrease the unemployment figures? abolish lidle, aldi, and netto

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A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

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Friends are like potatoes, If you eat them, they will die.

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Why did the chicken protest? He wanted to be able to cross the street without getting his motives questioned.

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Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

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How many walls can you paint with a baby? Depends on how hard you throw it.

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children of those parents which re childless, often are childless too...

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

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why did the chicken cross the road because the farm is across the street from were it is now

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops