What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding half of regis philbin in your apple...

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It's about 3 days from Mother's Day. What do you get her? Nothing. Nothing is a very powerful thing. hehe thats what she said.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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What did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? AIDS

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Whats the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? Ghosts aren't dolphins.

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Why did the boy with cancer cross the road? He was hoping to get hit by a truck.

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Q) What's worse than getting a parking ticket? A) The Black Death

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Why did the man fall of the cliff? A: Because someone pushed him.

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How many penguins does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Penguins cannot screw in lightbulbs because they have wings instead of fingers or opposable thumbs, as humans do.

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what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Luke. Luke who? Leukemia.

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Why did Daphie die? I stabbed her 487 times.

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Teagan Doherty, stop making jokes, thanks

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Why did the chicken smoke weed? Because he was black

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Knock Knock? Who's there? How did you know it was me?

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if you spell clever backwards you get a mixture of letters that don't make sense

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Why didn't the man stop at the stop sign? He was violently killed turning at the last intersection

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What is worse than getting raped? Getting raped twice.

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What did the skeleton say when he was horny? Nothing. Skeletons are not living and therefore cannot be horny.

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What is the different on a black guy and a bicycle ? The black guy steals the bicycle, but the bicycle dont steal the black guy. Yes, my bike got stolen ...

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why did the monkey cross the road? it escaped from a local zoo a block away

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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