Yo mama so dirty she takes a shower every night

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Q:Whats worst then finding a worm in your apple? A:Getting raped in the ass.

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Hey, you wanna hear a joke? The holocaust.

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You do not, as she is blind and deaf, and partaking in doing so would be the morally wrong thing to do.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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A man ate a lot of ice cream he had double bypass surgery 3 months later

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side which would be a incontrovertible (obvious) decision.

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Apple juice.

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A neutron walks into a bar. He orders a drink and ponders why his mother gave him the name, "A neutron."

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Q: whats snoop doggs favourite weather? A: drizzle

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A man is flailing his arms in the ocean. Help me, I'm drowning!, he screams. Some dude runs into the water, drags the man out, and is proclaimed a Hero.

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Want to hear a joke? Jerry Sandusky's innocence

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Easter? Hepatitis.

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A muslim and a jew meet each other in a dark ally...... they give each other strange looks because they are both in a dark ally.

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Why was the boy depressed? A. because his whole family was slaughtered on the kitchen floor.

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Alright then, call me sometime then.

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a mother: my little boy always asks me to take him to see dinosaurs...but they are extinct. me: take him to a museum you dumb bitch!

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Jimmy wanted a bike for Christmas He got cancer instead.

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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hot diggity dog

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What is it worse than a bee sting ? -Two bee stings What 's worse than two bee stings ? -The holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust ? -3 bee stings

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So it was 1945, and these two blonds walk into a bar......I forget the rest of the joke, but Japan ended up getting nuked

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops