what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

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Whats as flat as a pancake and alive Ya nan being flattened by a truck on the motorway

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Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had Leukemia

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Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? HA!

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Q; What is pink and has 2 legs? A: Not a lot of things, but a Flamingo is the closest thing that I could think of if you do not count the beak eyes and feet.

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I remember my grandfather's last words he said to me before he kicked the bucket...."Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa Claus is a fictional old man who flies around delivering gifts, while Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

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A man walks in to a bar. He then walks in to a different bar, and later that evening he goes into a different third bar. That man is a bar critique.

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Why did the black person sit in the back of bus? All the other seats were taken.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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I once saw a picture of a man who was bloodily murdered with his testicles replacing his eyes. then i had a nightmare, that was completely unrelated

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What's worse than seeing your goldfish die? Watching your grandfather have a stroke.

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Where is one place everyone eventually goes to rest? A cemetery.

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

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Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

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What do you say when someone attempts to steal your cheese? Give me my cheese!!!

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What did Mars say to warn Prehistoric Earth before an asteroid hit it? Nothing, sound can't travel through space, it's a vacuum. The dinosaurs will be missed.

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What do you call a blind man on a jet ski? Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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