What do you get when you mix carbonated water, caramel color, aspartame, phosporic acid, potassium benzoate, caffeine, citric acid, and natural flavor? Diet Pepsi

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's funnier than slapping a girl? Calling the cops on the person who slapped her.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how do you kill chuck norris. you don't

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Did you hear about the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13 for sexual content/nudity, language, and some violence.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What rhymes with orange? Somalia.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal, and this wasn't just any road. It was the new highway built, with frequent traffic jams and a speed limit of 90 mph.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

my candy brings all the kids to the yard and i'm like- get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two scuba divers are playing cards on the bottom of the ocean. One asks "have you got amy threes?" Then they both die from maintained exposure to the incredible pressure at the bottom of the sea. One left behind three children.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did Charlie do when he lost his golden ticket? He killed his grandpa to get it back.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A Jewish man, black guy, and asian all walk into a bar. Can you guess which one got arrested? That's right, the criminal

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's funny about a man walking into a bar? He was a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What the difference between Adolf Hitler and Michael Phelps? Micheal Phelps can finish a race.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Lebron go to Miami? Because Chuck Norris told him to.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I don't think Holocaust jokes are funny, Anne Frankly I find them offensive.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: whats big gray and cant swim A: a castle

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What squirts out of your butt and runs down your leg? Bloody diarrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into his house only to find someone in the livingroom touching the stereo. He then goes up to his wife, and kisses her.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why was sally bleeding? they never buy band-aids over her nubs.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Bob fall off the swim? He had no arms or legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A Russian who dosen't like vodka

thumb_up thumb_down -15

you had me at "hello", no need to add "you're under arrest"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops