What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why did the man buy fruits at the store? Because they were available, on sale, and the man was hungry, so he wanted to eat fruit at that time, he then got into his car, but thought to himself first, "I should unlock my car so I can open the door," so he does so, and sits in the drivers seat eating his fruit, he drives off to his home, arrives safely, and greets his family as he enters the house, then they sit down, eat dinner, and go to sleep, the next day, the man goes to the store, and buys vegetables

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Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense MICROWAVE

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Why did the woman buy peanut butter and a puppy? Her husband just died. She was trying to fill the void in her soul with junk food and companionship.

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an ant walks into my aunt.... the ant took a dump

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If 32x=8600, find x. ^ | There it is!

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roses are red, violets are blue.

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how did I get in your moms pants. I ripped them off.

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roses are red violets are blue just telling you in case you didnt know

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Guess what? What? Idk. I just wanted to make u excited.

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Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd have thought one of them would have seen it.

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Guess what I saw today? Everything I looked at.

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im gey

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A comedian walks onto the stage. Antehumor.

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What did the man say when he lost his phone? Answer: I lost my phone!!

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Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

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No one walks into a bar... because it was closed.

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what's black and white? everything. i'm a dog

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how do you know when an elephant been in your refridgrator The door wont close

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Why don't lesbians use dildoes? Because they look just like a big penises.

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So I'm at the office and I tell this guy, "Hey can you pass me the stapler. But when you pass it over, make sure there are staples in it 'cause if not, I can't staple anything."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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