What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Word play, punch-line, joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

If frogs weren't alive, there wouldn't be any frogs left on earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

thumb_up thumb_down -193

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops