Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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Yo mama so fat she doesn't need news, shes worldwide. ~YN~

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Are women better than men? Dont know but what we do know is they swing at bigger balls (softballs), shoot from lower basketball nets, do pushups from their knees. Shall I go on?

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Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops