the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

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Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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Q: Why were the two elephants kicked off the beach? A: They were both level 4 sex offenders.

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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sexual intercourse.

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

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Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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What has feathers, and is known to fly? A bird

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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So you there Red?

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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Women's Rights.

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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