How are you this morning?

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops