Abbie shaved her arse today....then it smiled at me

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hey do you eat out a woman properly? you cook her first and then eat her. -jeffery dahmers

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They were baked until the baker them until they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Gotta go Fast Gotta go Faster Faster Fasterfasterfaster! Moving at the speed of sound I'm the quickest hedgehog around Got ourselves a situation Start getting a new location Without any explanation On top of relaxation! Go- Go- Go- Don't blink Don't think Just Go go go go G-g-g-g-go go! Sonic, he's on the run Sonic, he's number one Sonic, he's coming next so watch out for Sonic X! Gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster faster fasterfasterfaster Go go go go go go go go go! Sooooniiiiic X!!

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

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What happens when a black guy roles over a speed-bump? I don't know. I have never tried it

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What happens when a jew with a boner runs into a wall? He hurts his face.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Wheres my tractor?

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please dis this joke, I want to get to the bottom of the leaderboard!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What would happend if two nyan cats crashed into each other? It would be a great impact and we'd all be sad.

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There once was a man who had a penis that was so big, his girlfriend liked it a lot. A year later they got married and had kids, but then the man lost his accounting job and things went downhill.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

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*ahem* what? what. oh I thought you said something

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Q: How did Mary get frostbite A: Her mother locked her in a freezer

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Why did the man commit a serious crime? Because he couldn't think of any funny crimes.

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What's worse than the Holocost? Two worms in your apple.

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What's Jewish and gay? Henry Shine

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Two doctors were performing open heart surgery on a 54-year old woman. The surgery was a success, and she is now living comfortably in Portland, OR. She enjoys sweet tea.

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How many wooden chairs can a black man staple to a whales forehead? 27 because Helen Keller does not like blueberries.

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A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up at night wondering if there's a dog.

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What did the chickens say to the other chicken Go away mother clucker

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you lose.

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roses are red violets should be purple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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