Wigan.

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A chicken walks into asda/walmart The person at the counter says: "What can I get you?" The chicken says: "Cluck"

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Q. What did the 300 pound Asian get for Valentine's day A. A jetpack. Except for the fact that the previous sentence was an obvious lie making this whole joke irrelevant.

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on the trampoline

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What do you call a cat with no tail? A Manx cat

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What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing really, it just let out a little whine.

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hi patrick

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What's worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A dead baby in 8 barrels.

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Why did the Hispanic man have no job? Because we are in a recession, and work is hard to come by in this tough economy.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It got shot. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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A man with Alztheimers walks into a bar. He forgets the purpose of being there.

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sky's the limit said the tree a.w. j.p.

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What did the terminally sick child dream of? I dont know. He never woke up to tell me.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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A black guy and his black girlfriend are in a car. Who's driving? Their driver. The black guy has a very prosperous career and their life is at the envy of many.

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How do you stop a bird from flying? Shoot it with a harpoon gun.

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Why did the little boy run away from the beach? Hurricane Irene.

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How many jews does it take to stop hitler. no one knows they didn't

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Q:Whats worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A: 8 dead babies in a barrel. Q: Whats worse than that? A: A dead baby in 8 barrels.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Easter? Hepatitis.

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Why did the middle-eastern man fly his plane into the Empire State Building? Because he was a bad pilot with an interest in American architecture.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops