Why did the police arrest the Escalade full of black men? Reckless driving. I lied, it was an asian woman.

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What kind of nun would never drink milk? One who suffers from a severe lactose intolerance.

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what happens every day? People die

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... Chan chan

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Q: why'd the monkey fall out of the tree A: because it was dead

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Don't make my new Nazi friend upset, or he'll be Fuhrerious

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10inch nice

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Why did the fat chick have a camel toe? She was half camel

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why does Chuck Norris never get wet in the rain? Because he has a very serviceable umbrella

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So a man and a woman are siting at the same park table Woman: sir are you touching my leg erotically Man: No mam for you see I am a parapaligec

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Poop

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A: If you were stranded on an island and you could only have one thin, what would it be? B: A boat A: That makes sense

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What did Batman get for Christmas. Nothing his parents are dead.

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Isn't a coincidence that the signing of the Declaration of Independence and the 4th of July are on the same day? Weird

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dildos are red, vaginas are blue, mother, what have I done to you?

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Q: whats worse that sucking at piano A: the world blowing up

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I walked into my sister's room and slipped on a bra..........it was a boobie trap

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Roses are red Violets are blue Theres a crazy ass alpaca ready to take a shit on you

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The entire population.

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You know what is worse than being dead...being at a Justin Bieber concert

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A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why was the little girl happy? because she found an icecream cone

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One watermelon said the the other watermelon, "you are looking mighty plump today", the other watermelon didn't say anything because watermelons cant talk

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whats worse than being raped by a random stranger getting raped by your uncle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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