When im invisible you cant see me, i know

thumb_up thumb_down +2

F? No k

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

yo moma is so poor she cant afford free samples

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldnt the boy lick his elbows? Because he lost his arms after he was violently beaten by his drunk father with a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What Did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Who's there? I am I am who? I am here to see you

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what has 2 legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

knock knock, Whos there ?? Johnny. Come in fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mother is so retarded. How retarded is she? Very retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the man commit a serious crime? Because he couldn't think of any funny crimes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's Jewish and gay? Henry Shine

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did one say to the other woman? I have a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +2

But then it wouldn't be an anti joke ya bellendo

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why was 6 afraid of 7? because he's a pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a donkey

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They were baked until the baker them until they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Four surgeons are taking a coffee break: 1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." 2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order." 3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded." 4th surgeon says "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asses are interchangeable."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Abbie shaved her arse today....then it smiled at me

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops