What does a man and an orange have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the girl fall out of the tree? Because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between Justin Bieber and R. Kelly? One is an arrogant asshole known for pissing on things, the other is R. Kelly.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: what's the difference between a young, geeky kid living in Wisconsin's basketball and Yao Ming's basketball? A: young, geeky kids cannot live in Wisconsin's basketball. Wisconsin is a state, and states cannot own objects because they aren't sentient beings. And Yao Ming's basketball... is just a regular basketball that happens to be owned by Yao Ming.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road? Because they are extinct and roads did not exist when they were alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q. What happened to the kid with 1 arm and 1 leg and 1 arm and 1 leg A. He had a seisure, then got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock knock ... *No ones home*

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the red-haired barber say to the father who abandoned him at birth? Nothing. The father sat to the side and read a magazine as the barber cut the hair of his legitimate child, failing to recognize the irony of the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Yo mama is so stupid that her IQ is relatively lower than the average.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I was playing Black Ops online, my wife turned it off in the middle of the game....I killed her

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock knock. Who's there? Docter. Docter who? XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

thumb_up thumb_down -19

how do u kill a black kid ..... stabb him in the face with a nife

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A doctor walks into a bar, he stumbles backwards as he is taking his coat off, and the barman chuckles.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happened to the orphan when it walked to the park? He found his birth parents........but then they were killed by a crazy hobo and he was taken away and molested

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A panda walks into a bar... Psht. Panda in a bar, that's impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

An Artic Storm.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing really, it just let out a little whine.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

hi patrick

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a cat with no tail? A Manx cat

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A chicken walks into asda/walmart The person at the counter says: "What can I get you?" The chicken says: "Cluck"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's worse then one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse then two bee stings? The Holocaust . What worse then the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops