What do you call a lazy good-for-nothing who can't succed at anything, steals your money, and who is unskilled in every way? A women

what starts with an f and ends with a uck? firetruck!!

What did Super man say when the bullets didn't hurt him? That didn't hurt.

The black man leaves the strip club.

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

How do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? Push 1000 Ethiopians off a cliff

My mother forgot to make me a sandwich today.

Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. And you said you'd never forget.

What did the camera man say when the actor took off his pants? Why did you take off your pants?

why am i sore i bummed a giraffe

if a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound? if a tree falls in the forest and it falls on a mime, does anyone care?

What did the Dragonfly say to the Mosquito? Nothing. He ate it.

You ever hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither has she.

How do you make a telemarketer scream? Set him on fire.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not having an apple to find a worm im

What did the people say to each other when they ate the orange? Orange you glad I didn't eat you:) HAHAHAA orange you glad that I am good at telling jokes!

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

whats worse than a worm in your apple? the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust? two worms in your apple

What's worth than a large pile of dead babies? Nothing, you sick freak.

Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

A man was walking along and got his legs shot off. He then proceeded to calm his wife and children and buy a wheelchair.

How many babies can you fit in a toilet? To be exact you would have to do all this math, so I tested it out myself and got 7.6.

At a feminist picnic there are no sandwiches.

what has four wheels and opens using a key? -a trunk on wheels

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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