How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You shoot at the blonde. Causing her to fall, but I have a feeling she will be pretty mad!

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Yo momma is so fat that her cholesterol level is above 240 mg/dL and should highly consider a vegan diet if she wishes to improve.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? You. You who? You should be drug out into the street and shot. Whoever you are, I will find you.

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holy F**k someone call an ambulance!

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A man called the police and was later arrested for murdering himself,

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What do you call this? A sentence in English.

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Do you know what's funny? 9/11

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My mother-in-law fell down a stairway. I turned to my wife and said “Call an ambulance!!”

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Whats better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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I kinda said I did not want to know, sooo... Want to meet up tomorrow? Like for realsies? In that case tell me first (then show me tomorrow as proof), your cough... Vagina, I dont care if its shaven or not, but does it have red hair?

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Eating food: Ugh disgusting! Taking a dump later: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Man, you are doing it wrong... Waterworld was a pretty dry movie, I mean when are they gonna start making movies with a bit of wet humor for a change? SERIOUSLY BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY I AM NOT SERIOUS!

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whats red and falls from a tree an apple

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Did you hear about the guy who broke his legs? His legs were broke.

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A dog walks into the local newspaper to place an ad. The dog writes; "woof woof, woof woof woof." Receptionist: You know you can ad another two woofs for the same price? Dog: Well that wouldn't make any sense at all?

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Why did the pedophil go to church? To rape small children.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You were supposed to die 12 seconds ago....

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A man walked into my repair shop asking why his TV didn't work. I told him it was broken.

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What was the difference between an Irishmen and a apple? Alot.

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OHIO DRIVERS.......THAT IS ALL......

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A Cadillac Escalade ran off a cliff with 4 black man in it. What's wrong with this? The Cadillac could hold 6 people.

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Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it was dead, thus incapable of independent movement.

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roses are red, violets are blue, tom cruise is gay

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it could without dying.

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how do you get blondes to drown? stick a mirror to the bottom of the pool

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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