Q: What happened when three lions escaped from the zoo? A: Animal patrol came and tranquilized all three.. Unfortunantly one of the lions died from to much tranq.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is the difference between a girl and a woman? Age

thumb_up thumb_down +16

"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the gorcery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

52 Prostitutes in a bar. Challenge Accepted.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How did superman always save the day? Because he was a fictional tv actor so he could do whatever he wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says, "It is quite hot in here." This is a lie. Neither of the muffins spoke because in reality, Muffins are not only inanimate objects, they are not humans, and therefore they do not have the ability to speak in a comprehensible language.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is right behind 7 and he's naked.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because Suzy had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you say when you see your tv floating at night? Drop it, nigga!!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

an emo kid walks into mcdonalds and orders a happy meal

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do gay guys eat? Normal food like every other human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Lets Go Lakers!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why are black people so good at basketball? Not all black people are skilled at basketball

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why didn't the chicken cross the road? there are no roads in factory farms.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

At the time my grandfather came round to visit, what was happening in Australia? A giant spider was giving birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

This one time at band camp music was played.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the man get when he returned from Africa? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do grizzly bears and people have in common? Neither can survive in outer space, due to depressurization, lack of oxygen, and absence of basic survival needs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops