Why did the black guy get kicked out of the bar? He was riding a jack hammer

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A panda walks into a bar. He eats but then is tranquilized and taken back to the zoo.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer we're both lawyers

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I personally really do not know

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What name does Steve Bartman go by Now? Steve Bartman, but he just hides all day trying not to be killed.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Thomas Hobbes had a happy life. Actually he didnt, he was born prematurely causing his mother to die. Then his dad left him at an early age to the care of an abusive older brother because he was an alcohollic. He did inspire many political beliefs though

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the danced cus they were young, they danced cus they were free, but mostly the danced cus they needed to pee

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roses are red violets are blue your sister is pretty what happend to u??

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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Depends. Some are vegetarians or vegans, while most eat a mixture of vegetables and meat.

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What's black, blue and smells like fish? A dead penguin.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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Two guys walk into a bar. The Third ones a duck

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Where do five gay guys walk? Where ever they want to. This is a free country, where people are free to travel as the please, no matter what their sexual orientation may be

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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Yo mama so ugly... she has an extremely bad burn on her face.

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How many mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan.

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Why did the condom drive over his pet mac and cheese? Because his uncle was not george bush.

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My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

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Why didn't the oven turn on? Because nothing turned it on.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a yacht. Unfortunately the yacht is in a shop and all 3 of them sustain injuries following impact with the concrete floor.

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Why couldn't the black guy enter the room? He was too large to fit through the doorway therefore he turned around and left

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A Mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man, because he was the designated driver for the night and was being helped by his good friend, Paco the Mexican, to quit his alcohol addiction. The AA meetings and rehab clininc were failing and he had lost his job. Jamaal, the black man, is now attending night school and holding down a part-time job at his local Baha Fresh. paco is very proud of him.

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What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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