What did the alcoholic say to his priest? I'm Drunk. The priest says "Your drunk go home". He barely makes it.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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A Mexican walked into a bar. He never came back out.

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What did Washington say to his men before they got into the boat? Men, get in the boat!

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Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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whats the difference between a black guy, spook and a porch monkey? they are all stupid, stinky, n-i-g-g-e-r-s!

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There's a fine line between hyphenated words

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Why did the 14 year old girl have sex? Because she's in love with her boyfriend and that's how she expresses it.

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door.

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are eating lunch on a bridge. The Mexican drops his taco off the side of the bridge and the Italian and American were kind enough to share some of their lunch with the Mexican making it a successful picnic. Their ethnicity was not relevent at all.

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a blond a her blond boyfriend were walking acrossed a river. she gose over the river but the ramp brecks when she's past. her boyfriend says wait until night and I'll get a flashlight and shine it acrossed get on the light beem and walk acrossed.she says no when I'm haf way acrossed you will turn the light off.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Roses are grey Violets are gray Tulips are grey Lilly's are grey Dandelions are grey Daisy's are grey Daffodils are grey I am colour blind.

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How many men do you have to have sex with to show that you're gay? But, I'm a woman!

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What's the main difference between an angry white man and an angry black man? The angry black man is probably of African descent.

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What did Anne Frank say to the Nazis who found her? Please be gentle.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your Holocaust? Oh, wait, I said it wrong...

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The cast of the 'Jersey Shore' is the worst thing to happen to the Jersey shore

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Why did Bob wear a jumper and trousers even though it was a very hot day? Because he is an idiot.

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If John has 50 candybars and eats 45 of them how many does he have left? Diabetes.

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"Have you guys ever seen Derrek Ashmores sisters? They are DTF if you know what I mean" - Jesse Ziegenbein

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why did billy fall down? Because he is mentaly retarted and was just plain stupid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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