Why couldn't the black man swim? Both of his legs were just eaten by a shark.

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whats 2+2? math.

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What did the general say before the soldiers got in the tank? Get in the tank

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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The WNBA

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Knock Knock. -Who's there ? It's me. -Come in.

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How do you annoy Lady Gaga? Stab her with a knife.

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Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

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How do you make an anti joke? You ask a question that could have a presumably amusing answer, but make the joke less amusing by stating an obvious answer, therefore completely bamboozling the victim of the anti joke, and making you seem like a man that has a lot of common sense.

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What's the difference between an orange? The horse because the vest has no sleeves.

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Why did the old man fall off his bicycle? Because somebody threw a fridge at him.

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Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

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What has two wheels and a handle bar? A bike.

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What do you call a muslim in an airplane? Whatever his name may be, though you could, of course, choose not to address him, though if it were a two-seater plane, it would be good manners to exchange polite conversation.

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Why did the man fall of his bike? He wasn't on his bike, i drowned him yesterday.

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What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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why did the holocaust not die because black people are scared of fuck

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What do you say to two cows? Hey cows.

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What did the ant say when he walked in the club. . . Nothing he was immediately stepped on.

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Do you know what my favorite rhetorical question is?

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what is the difference between a indian and a trampoline? you take you shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

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why was the man walking in the kitchen? idk thats why i asked

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Knock knock How is ? Bond ,James Bond!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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