How do u make a hockey player cry You Kill his entire family

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A Mexican walked into a bar. He never came back out.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was there a black man and a white man in a bar? Due to the probability of this occurance happening due to percentages of black/white people in a bar, this specific situation should be of no shock, in fact it is a completely normal occurance one of which should not be questioned

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a puppy in alaska? A cold PUPPY!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A small plane is flying across the Atlantic Ocean, on board there's a Black Guy, a Jew, a Priest, and a Mexican. The plane has engine failure and needs to crash, but luckily there are enough parachutes for everyone. The evacuation is succesful.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

25

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats the difference between a truck full of dead babies and a truck full of bowling balls? You can't pick up the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

thumb_up thumb_down -7

KNOCK! KNOCK! Who is it? Wood pecker. Wood pecker who? KNOCK! KNOCK!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

The elephant and the mouse was gonna go swimming at the lake, but they realize the Elephant forgot his swimming trunks! Mouse: Do you really need two trunks? Elephant: Oh well I can do with this one... but its not a swimming trunk! Mouse: Huh? Moral: Huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Your friend is so gay that he isn't attracted to hot women

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what happens when chuck norris does a push up. he pushes himself up

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What ticks and makes a very loud noise? the bed

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If John has 50 candybars and eats 45 of them how many does he have left? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a Rhinoceros? A: Merriam-Webster defines "cross" as "an affliction that tries one's virtue, steadfastness, or patience." This comedic exercise is one such affliction.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A brown haired woman walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor it hurts whenever I touch myself." The doctor says, "Strange, I have never heard of such a disease. Please show me." The woman touches her leg and screams,"Ow!" Then she touches her arm and screams again. The doctor asks, "Are you a natural brunette?" The woman replies, "No, I am a blonde." The doctor says, "Oh, that explains it. You have a broken finger. God, you are so blonde." The woman gets her finger treated and then lives in agony for the rest of her life due to her untreated broken leg and arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man knocks on a wooden door. A woman says who is it?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many men do you have to have sex with to show that you're gay? But, I'm a woman!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A rabbi walks into a bar, in traditional Jewish garb. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Sorry, you'll have to leave". The Jewish gentleman says "Why, don't you serve Jews in here?". The bartender replies "Of course we do, but we just found asbestos in the walls and we're closing for remodeling." The rabbi politely apologizes for making misplaced assumptions about the bartender's place of business.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

a mexecan guy walks in a bar he ask how much is a beer.its $400 and 55'.WHAT THATS SUCKSISH.no i just like to joke its 1 dollor.oh.....shut up go walk in a bra!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is six afraid of seven? Because 7 is black.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

TEST! ACTUALLY READ THIS! 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. 3. The King of the Forest is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend? The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. 4. There is a river you must cross but it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it? You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why do my feet smell so bad? because i havent washed them for 5 days

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops