whats worse than vegetables? Fisting Grandmas

Your momma's so fat she died five years ago.

What did Kim Kardashian say when she got a breast implant? DERP!

What did the explorer say to the new species Oh look it says squirtle let's call it squirtle Oh look it say woof let's call it poochyena

Whats invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts

Q.Why did the boy fail to complete his homework? A. He was a loaf of bread

Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

Two twins are born only a minute apart. There is a mistake at the hospital and they are seperated. Years later they reconnect on Oprah and realize they do not have much in common.

violets are red my name is bob this poem makes no sense microwave

ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE!? YES I AM, AH! ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE?! The judge did not find the Elton John song worthy of negating the statuary rape charges and sentenced him to nine years in jail.

What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

Two hippos are in a lake with water up to their eyes. One of them then says, "i keep thinking it's tueday"

So there's this crazy married couple in a old trailer down the road. They are both drunk. The man asks his blond wife, ''Isn't it about time we get married?'' The wife replies ''I wouldn't marry a ugly thing like you!'' The next day, they file a divorce.

If your uncle jack helped you off your horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse? Yes

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa Claus is a fictional old man who flies around delivering gifts, while Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

Knock Knock Whos There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Radley.

Whats Black and White and Red all over ? A Zebra laying in a pool of its own blood.

What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

dfasdf sdf ds fds fds f sdf s fs

A very unattractive girl bent over in front of me. I proceeded to be sick, and then I choked on my sick. I died. My family mourn my death every day.

Get off my porch.

My computer crashed today I was watching porn.

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

whats the one about not giving a crap? oh yea this one

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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