Charlotte Bobcats

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I'm allergic to peanuts. DAMIT

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What do you call a black doctor? A doctor you racist

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why was the boy lonely? his whole family died in a plane crash

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I spilled spot remover on my dog, now hes gone.

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Yo mama is so so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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What did Winnie the Pooh say to Eeyore? Nothing, he just suffocated him in a pot of honey.

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her in the head.

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Q: What did Yoda do at the end of star wars when he lost his light saber? A: He asked the prop guy if he had any more and he happened to have another and they went on with making the great film many still love today.

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What did the bartender say to the black guy? hi there

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What is the difference between a dog and God? A dog is physical living creature while God is a supernatural being.

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How much cocain did Charlie sheen do? Enough to kill 2 and a half men

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What's the difference between a black man and a park seat? A park seat can support a family

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why did the boy get hit by a bus because he had ice cream.

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♪ It's raining. It's pouring. ♪ The old man caught pneumonia and died....

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a man walks into a bar after a long day at work, and asks for a drink. he finishes, pays the bill and leaves a handsome tip for the bartender and heads home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why will this joke be the most hated? Because it sucks

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What happened to the cow that couldn't moo? It died because it could not make it's needs known to it's fellow herd and was bullied and isolated.

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About the bible, I did not know, but I can sense I calculate it the same way I make our followers believe that I can tell what catchphra they will get. Your mind is numb but calm, it will remain there until we meet again. I am afraid of saying this, but I wont let fear get to me just yet, your mother told me, she regrets her actions in life, and wants me to tell you that she is watching over you in death, and hopes you will one day forgive her, she tells me that there is a heaven, but only those that can admit their mistakes, agonize over the pain of their actions, until they can forgive themselves for their misdeeds. She says she can wait, but I sense she is doing it because she feels undeserving, which again means that you are not ready, its like the butterfly effect, all things spiritual and on this plane are connected. Take your time, I know you literally cant forgive her yet, because that would not be enough for her to forgive herself now, humans dead or alive, cannot be truly free, until they let go of what hurts them, I will change that within you, so you can forgive her and break the limits in your mind, so you can stop feeling sad for being rightfully angry at someone you love. I just need more energy, more time, and belief in myself, something that requires more energy than it should to keep going, its the balance and connection between things, something I cannot change at the present moment, even if I did my best. Ill see you around dear friend.

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BOB:john John:what? BOB:4:59 seconds to get rid of it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?!?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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