How did the baby cross the road? .......... It was stapled to the chicken.

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

An oriental man starts a new job. He is told to go to the Supply cupboard and bring back some stationery.He is gone far too long so his boss sends another man to see what is going on. The oriental man had a fatal stroke in the supply cupboard and was unfortunately dead.

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

A girl walks into a strip club, she was tired of her husband and wanted to see how it was actually done.

1. Why did sally fall of the swing? -because she had no arms. 2.Knock Knock -Who's there? Not sally.

captcha: all yer base

What do you call a dead, black child? Dead.

I went to the zoo the other day there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu. By Nathan Luque CARROTS!!!

Tyler: Why'd the monkey fall out of a tree? Donnie: who's there Tyler: dude this isn't a knock knock joke...

Why was patrick sad? he was raped then murdered then super raped

A seal walks into a club.

Some black guy grabs a white guys wallet. the black guy says " hey I think you dropped this"

Why did the blond fail her math test? Because she got all the questions wrong.

Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

A Mexican, a black guy, and a Muslim are riding in the back of a car. Who is driving? Their friend Keith.

A dyslexic man walks into a saloon and asks for a hair cut.

All the other dinosaurs were laughing and teasing the tyrannosaurus because of his tiny arms. They left and the T.rex was sobbing uncontrollably next to a giant fern. "What's the matter little fellow?" said Jesus. The crying dinosaur looked down and said "I That's the end of my stupid puppet show, cuz I couldn't think of anything a blubbering dinosaur would say to our Lord and saviour.

whats long and stretchy? elastic

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Q:Whats funnier than 24? A: 25.

Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

What's the difference between a bird? Both legs are the same, especially the left one

Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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