You ever hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither has she.

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Q:Why didnt the stoner go to college? A:Because he died of lung cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was a red light and it was his turn to cross.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? because 7 brutally beat and raped 9

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your mom died.

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This is an anti joke with a difference. It's funny.

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A Chinese man walks into a bar. With his thick accent, he finds it difficult to order drinks.

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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Why did the pony go to the Doctor's? It had Horse AIDS.

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How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

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Why did suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms... Why couldn't she get back up? -she had no friends

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A blind 1st grader is doing math. He can't figure out a problem so he asks his mom to help, his mom then ask "Why don't you just count by your fingers?" the little boy then said "MOM! I'm blind I can't see!" his mom replys "then how do you see your homework?" the boys replys "I opened my eyes, now help me"

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Knock Knock Come in.

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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Mr Jones, we're sending you to a mental health clinic

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Q: What Would You Call Someone Who is 6 Foot and hairy. Answer: By His Or Her Name.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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How do you get 100 Jews in a car? It is physically impossible to fit 100 full grown homosapians into a vehicle, therefore it will not work.

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why did the man leave the restaurant? because he was done with his meal

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How much money did the pirate pay for his ear to get pierced? Nothing, given that he is a pirate. It was probably done at gunpoint.

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Why did the surrealist go to the doctor? Knock Knock.

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A tightly dressed woman walks up to a man and asks if he wants a good time they go out for dinner and have a lot in common and agree to meet again in the near future

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Lil' Wayne

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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