Thats sweet, thank you then.

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men jump out, and the plane crashes anyway.

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

What does Helen Keller order at McDonalds? Food.

jcjdj

Why was the black guy good at basketball? When buying African American Slaves the masters often sought attributes that would be useful for manual labor such as agricultural work. The slaves who met these criteria had more chances to pass on their better, more beneficial genetic info via sexual intercourse with other slaves. Through many generations the most beneficial traits such as fine motor control in the phalanges and overall strength were passed down. This is very similar to Darwin's Theory of Evolution.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car

How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

Why did the little girl cry? Because she saw her future.

Q: whats the differences between a bra and the canucks?? A: a bra has two cups

A guy who plays shooting games acquires an assault rifle but he doesn't kill anyone, why? Because he was a nice and peaceful man who loves his wife.

why did the boy and girl go under the covers together? because they were cold

What did the lady find out when she went to the doctor. She had breast cancer.

When life gives you lemons, thank life for its generosity.

Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

What do you call a gay Mexican guy who is deaf, has no arms, no legs, and is bald? Whatever his name is.

what do you call an exited rectangle? an Erectangle

What do you call a baby that fell in lava Dead

Did you hear the joke about the Israeli guy with the cruise missile down his pants? Me neither. I hope it's a good joke.

Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period. Damnit, ignore that.

Q:What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped by a giant scorpion

A blind guy and a priest walk into a bar

Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The third one is for you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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